On Being Patient

I am learning, slowly. Guess that makes me a ‘slow learner’. Or am I?

Is it just my impatient nature makes it seem as though it takes so long for me to learn something new??

I realise it takes intention, affirmations, dedication and mostly, practice, lots of practice. And time, lots of time… When I get impatient with the process of learning something new, I look to ways of ‘cheating’. I do. It’s not a great habit.

After wasting time trying to find an easier way, I am still where I am at. I do this on a semi-regular basis – less regular these days as I am recognising this trait in myself.

I caught myself doing this the other day….

After being ‘introduced’ to Kathryn Budig on YogaGlo and then taking an amazing workshop with her at Halifax Yoga I’ve have been working on being strong enough to lift myself (press up) into handstand since July. I still can’t do it, but keep trying again and again and again… I am getting stronger. My mind got to ‘cheating’ because it simply was not happening fast enough. My thoughts wondered to the idea of losing weight!! (Visualise light bulb aglow) If there was less of me to lift… (scheme, scheme) It would naturally be easier, right? Easier on my wrists, shoulders… hmmm…

So, I went out and bought new running shoes. I love to run but always need a reason ie; a race to train for, chasing someone down to give them back the cigarette butt they accidentally dropped on the ground, increase my appetite so I can eat more, keep my heart healthy and strong. Important things…

Never in my life have I ever really wanted to lose weight. I really love the shape and size of my body. It seems to work for all of the clothes I have and the things I like to do -All except pressing into handstand…

Again, a couple of days ago…

On trying to learn the chord F (with sore burny fingers) on my NEW GUITAR.

This was my Facebook status:

“Dear Santa, 
For Christmas, I would like; 
-a fatter, stronger index finger (with few nerve endings & lots of thick leathery-ness on the end)
-long, thin, flexible & strong other fingers. 
Then I will play you a song on my new guitar :)”

Attempting to bribe Santa, sheesh…

I’m back to just practicing – Yoga and guitar. I’m also running, for fun! Back where I was before I left, momentarily, to find an easier way.

It’s kind of like coming home, feeling humbled, feeling ‘told-you-so(-ed)’ and ready to start anew.

I’m getting better at being humbled and better at also knowing what our parents taught us- there’s no substitute for hard work and practice, seriously…